


Sad Machine

by AndyAO3



Series: Clockwork Detectives and Imported Antiques [6]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Feels, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Mid-Game Spoilers, Sad Robots, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6981397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndyAO3/pseuds/AndyAO3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An evening in doesn't turn out as planned. It was going so well, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sad Machine

**Author's Note:**

> /bangs pots and pans together yelling **_NICK HAS DEPRESSION IT IS CANON I SAY SO_**
> 
> Seriously, this was supposed to be pointless smut, not pure fluff and feels. What the fuck, Nick. You derailed the whole thing. (I'm kidding, I'm not disappointed, it turned out well and I'm happy with it.)
> 
> I'm not sure why I'm rating it T. I think it's just to be safe. I started this before Far Harbor dropped, btw.

"Come to bed, Nick."

"Just a sec."

"Your office is cold."

"Warmer than outside."

"It's still cold. And if you don't get over here I'm going to crack open a bottle of vodka to warm myself up. Then I'm going to absolutely, most certainly get drunk, and I can assure you that I won't be up for much of anything after that."

"Someone's impatient."

"I'm serious, Nick. You'll have no one but yourself to blame for me being so hammered that I can't get it up."

"Alright, alright..."

"I have the bottle right here in my hands. It calls to me, Nick. It says, 'shh, don't fret, I will keep you warm through the night even if your cruel, neglectful lover won't'."

Nick had to chuckle then, shaking his head. It wasn't even that cold, not by Boston's standards. Spring had just decided to let the temperatures get above freezing, the snow had melted, and chilly spring rains had been quick to follow. But the office had a space heater, it was out of the wind, and the holes in the walls had been pretty thoroughly patched. The temperature inside was easily in the sixties.

Li, however, was a creature of comforts. The kinda guy who'd lived through leaner times and learned to savor the finer things in life as a result. Including having a robot with a penchant for overheating too easily as a source of warmth to cuddle up to, he'd said once. Nick couldn't see how that was comfortable, but he wasn't gonna begrudge the man.

Sighing, Nick heaved himself up from his chair and headed over to where Li was waiting for him-- draped over the bed, a bottle of vodka in his hands, wearing nothing but a bathrobe. Explained why the man was so cold. Not that Nick was about to complain about that. The bathrobe rode up just enough, and hung loose and open enough around Li's collarbones, that very little was left to the imagination. Quite the view, and probably on purpose too.

"You're too late, Nick. The vodka and I have already formed a deep and profound bond." Li petted the bottle and pressed it to his face, giving Nick a haughty sort of look.

"Too bad." Nick plucked the bottle from the human's hands and ignored the mock-upset gasp he got in return. It was placed on the floor nearby, just enough out of the way that it wasn't about to get kicked over.

Li acted as if he was deeply offended. "How dare you get in the way of our love? What a terrible, heartless man you are."

The detective chuckled again and sank down onto the mattress, straddling his partner and giving the man a peck on the lips. "Yeah, I'm terrible alright," he murmured. "Though I was kinda under the impression you had a fondness for terrible."

"Oh, I'm embarrassingly fond of terrible. It's mortifying how well I get along with the sorts of people one might find in a bin." Li relaxed easily underneath him, warm hands skimming along the seams of artificial skin. Tracing over holes and tears, leaving a ghost of not-quite-sensation in their wake. Nick could barely feel it, but the memory of what that sort of touch might feel like was almost enough. Almost.

What made it enough for him was the way Li's dark eyes crinkled at the corners with his smile, looking at Nick like all he saw was a person. Like Nick being worth that affection and regard was just cold hard facts. There was something crazy about that certainty, something absurd and unbelievable. It always managed to catch Nick a little off-guard, even after a couple months of it.

He'd stopped questioning it out loud after Li got back from the Institute though. Somehow, he got the feeling that Li needed something to be certain of after that. Some hard fact to cling to, to keep himself from drowning in a sea of bullshit and upended assumptions. Nick was alright with being that bit of certainty if it was what his partner needed.

Truth be told, he was alright with a lot of things. "Make a habit of dumpster-diving, do ya?" he teased.

Li huffed with laughter and reached up to pluck away Nick's hat, placing it atop the headboard. "Maybe I have a thing for discarded antiques. Never know what sort of value they might have."

"Well, can't say I blame you," Nick said with a light shrug. "Seems I'm one for high-quality imports, myself."

His partner snorted and kissed the tip of his nose. "That one was awful. I should kick you out of bed."

"But you won't."

"No, I won't. I'm rather bad at listening to the bits of my brain that tell me what I _should_ do." Both of Li's hands came up to cup Nick's jaw, holding him like he was something delicate. Li was always careful like that, always gentle. Someone else might find it insulting, but Nick couldn't bring himself to.

Instead he lifted his own good hand, covering Li's much smaller one and letting the warmth from it seep into his not-quite-skin. He sighed, leaning into the touch, closing his eyes based on some old preserved instinct from the human side of his psyche. Let himself just feel, if only for a while. He'd been trying to avoid doing just that since Li had stepped onto that damn teleporter pad-- watching everyone else assume the worst, seeing them cross his partner's name off the board back at the Railroad's HQ.

A calloused thumb brushed one of the detective's eyelids. "Nick?" Li's voice was softer, the flippant tone of their banter long gone. "Are you alright?"

"M'fine," Nick assured. He opened his eyes halfway, offered a smile. "Everything's fine."

He was repaid in a concerned frown. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," Li told him.

"Never said I didn't want it," Nick protested; Li pressed two fingers to his lips to silence him.

"Shh, don't be ridiculous," his partner said. "Everything about you right now says you don't want it. And I'm perfectly fine with that."

It shouldn't have been a problem. Never was in the past. Nick didn't know why it'd suddenly become one. Because Li was right; Nick didn't really have it in him. Didn't feel up to it. He was so goddamn tired, exhausted to his core. All he wanted to do was-- was to just exist. To take everything in and just _be_. He'd come so close to losing someone else, and now that the prospect of such a loss wasn't looming over him anymore, he couldn't feel anything but weariness.

He sighed, leaning his forehead gently against Li's own, soaking in the heat of his human's hands as they petted and smoothed over what was left of his skin. Hell. Weren't they supposed to be celebrating? A little fun to take their minds off of things?

"Guess you're right," Nick mumbled, and damn if he didn't feel rotten saying it. This self-pity bullshit wasn't what Li needed. "Sorry, sweetheart."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Li soothed. If he was disappointed, he wasn't showing it. But he'd always been a good liar, and a good man. Nick wasn't nearly as good; he knew it to be true because the first thing that came to mind was a selfish desire to get Li to promise he'd stick around, never going where Nick couldn't follow. Not that he'd ever say it. He'd be too afraid that Li would agree to it.

It wasn't rational. Nothing about wanting to curl up and sink into Li's warm, inviting arms and never leave made sense, but it was all Nick could come up with.

So it surprised him when Li wrapped those arms around him and pulled him close, exhaling quietly against the open spaces in his neck. "It's alright," Li whispered. "I'm right here." Like he'd read Nick's mind. Seen the selfishness and accepted it.

Nick sagged into the embrace, giving in and tucking his arms around his partner's waist and back. He could barely feel the soft texture of Li's bathrobe, and the clean smell of the soap he'd used to scrub away the sweat and grime of the Commonwealth didn't quite translate through Nick's senses. But it felt like-- like--

Like he belonged there. Like he'd finally found where home was.

Nothing about it had to do with the Institute, or Nick Valentine the dead cop, or anything. This feeling was his, and his alone. In spite of having done nothing to deserve it, in spite of being an old robot living in the shadow of someone else and nothing more. The feeling had found him anyway, and stuck. Selfish as it was to hold onto it, he couldn't help wanting to. Wanting to keep this one good, worthwhile thing in his life all to himself.

It felt an awful lot like love, if he were to be honest with himself. Either that or something a helluva lot like it. An old synth like him, maybe _something like it_ was as close as he'd ever get.

He closed his eyes and kissed Li's neck, feeling his partner's pulse under his lips. No. He wouldn't say it. In that moment, he had what he wanted. More than he ever could've asked for. It was enough. More than enough.

Li chuckled, tracing the lines of his back with idle fingers. "What a sap."

"Says you," Nick replied.

And thus a good chunk of the rest of the afternoon was spent cuddling, an outcome that Nick was more than content with.

 


End file.
